I recently went on a Girl’s Day with some of my closest friends. Most men (especially those without a sister) think of Girl’s Day and automatically picture a host of women lined up in a spa getting their nails done or sitting around bashing their mates and complaining about their children. However, the truth is for most women it’s different every time (and this is not “the something simple most men don’t know about women”). We might watch movies on the couch, WEARING CLOTHING (most men DO know that, they just don’t want to admit it to themselves), go to lunch, have a drink, do whatever task needs to be done, to include yes, sometimes getting our nails done.
On a recent day together we had a purpose: shopping for a wedding venue for my best friend and sister. She is 47 (older, of course) and never been married. As you can guess all of us girls are ecstatic for the happy couple! We hop in the car with coordinating clothing (not “the thing” and in this case not even on purpose). We go to the first venue. This one had such great reviews so we were all excited. However, being that women are critical about stuff like this (no, not “it”) we naturally inspected every inch of the indoor facility. It came up short on many levels to include the most important for women: atmosphere (also not “the thing”). The venue coordinator then gave us directions to the amphitheater where the ceremonies take place. There…we all fell in love. It was a beautiful sunny yet crisp Louisiana winter day. The temperature was perfect at around 70°F with a slight breeze. For women temperature and ambiance mean a lot (again…not “it”). However, if you are thinking of asking a woman to marry you, all I’m saying is choose the atmosphere wisely.
As a professional photographer, what would I naturally do in this perfect atmosphere? Start taking selfies of course! Soon my friends were laughing because they know me well and because they also know how to keep my vanity in check. Am I super vain? If you are asking me, of course I always say no. I’m just confident and happy with myself. Could I stand to lose that last 40lbs the doctor has been on me about for the last few years? (More like 80lbs per Ideal Height and Weight Chart) Yes! Am I going to be unhappy until I make that happen? No. Although, I must say that when I look in the mirror I don’t really see an overweight person like many women do (still not “it”). Am I blind? No, just a realist…I don’t have to be skinny to be beautiful.
After a lengthy round of selfies I asked one of the girls to take a few shots of me. This place was great and I really needed a new social media profile photo. a few minutes later, she busted out laughing at something behind me. I turned to find the other girls being sarcastic behind me by striking enthusiastic poses. Penance for my taking so many photos.
Ok, so girlfriends know how to keep us in check on it all: vanity, anger, negativity…anything really. (Nope, not “it” but stay with me because “it” is close.) It didn’t take long for my friends to join in the merriment of the selfie with me (aka group selfie or usie). This was fun and real!
This sparked a special memory for me with another best friend, Yvette. Years earlier, many years, she and I dressed up in ridiculous make-up and mismatched clothes and went in hunt of traffic jams. We found quite a few and had enormous amounts of fun. We giggled and sang and rode with the windows down all day. I’m surprised we didn’t cause an accident or two but when you’re 19 you aren’t thinking of things like that. She and I have had many fun times through the years but this one I actually have a picture to prove it.
Now to get to “it”, truly “the thing”, I’m going to flash back again to when I was at another best friend’s house. A younger boy showed up to visit with my friend’s younger brother. Tanya and I had been acting silly, playing music and dancing when he showed up. Luckily, it didn’t stop the fun. We giggled until we cried, as we normally did when we were together. Soon, I found myself in the kitchen in desperate need of water when he stopped me by saying, “My image of you is totally blown.” I heard Tanya, my friend, in the hallway laughing. “Why is your image blown?” she asked. I tried to hide my smile as he went on to tell me what I’d heard so many times before; that he and his friends always saw me at school and thought I was so mature. My reply was “And?” He just stood there with a blank expression on his face which made Tanya and I start laughing again. Finally, he expressed his shock at seeing me act so silly. He said had he known I was so ‘normal’ he would’ve talked to me years earlier. Tanya explained through tears and laughter that all women are silly but we just don’t share that with everybody (yes! This is “it”). Soon he was laughing with us and we all had a great day together.
Over the years I’ve been blessed to have many wonderful girlfriends. Several are best friends I’ll have for the rest of my life. The ones I don’t talk with often are no less close to my heart than they are when we do. All of those women have one important thing in common, it’s “the thing”, we are all silly and childish. We remind each other that life is not about all the problems. While the problems might be what help us grow and become wiser, the problems are also what can weigh us down and make us serious, foreboding and often bitter. When we are together it’s not about how important we are to the community or how successful in our careers we are or how famous either of us are or are not. It’s not about how serious we want to be taken or how many walls we’ve built to keep out pain or disappointment. It’s the opposite of those things. It’s simple. It’s being silly and frivolous. It’s reminding each other that we can be just ourselves and we are accepted for just that.
For the married man who thinks his wife is getting a little fussy? Send her off with her friends for a Girl’s Day!
For the single guy who really just wants to talk to that beautiful single girl…picture her making a funny fishy face with her friends; giggling and being silly.
Is also this girl…
She is the every woman.
We are all silly. Most of us don’t show “it” to everybody. But find that part of the woman and love “it”. That’s the special part.
Rejoice always, -1 Thessalonians 5:16
And I commend joy, for man has no good thing under the sun but to eat and drink and be joyful, for this will go with him in his toil through the days of his life that God has given him under the sun. -Ecclesiastes 8:15
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; -Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Let us therefore celebrate the festival, not with the old leaven, the leaven of malice and evil, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth. -1 Corinthians 5:8
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. -1 Thessalonians 5:11
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. -1 Peter 4:8
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! -Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
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